Every Single Heartbeat by Abbye J Leen

Author:Abbye J Leen [Leen, Abbye J]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-04-07T16:00:00+00:00

***

Where the hell is this damned migraine coming from? I'm lying down in bed curled up on my side, when suddenly, I feel someone moving behind me, so I hold still. What the shit did I do last night? I don’t have the guts to turn around and give myself an answer, so instead, I lift the bedsheets up, to at least see what I’m wearing. It's just panties and bra.

Panties and bra.

My heart starts beating out of control, as I think about how Noah will never forgive me if he finds out about this, especially not now that he’s back at college, now that our wounds had a chance to heal. I just had to go and screw it all up, didn’t I? Lacerating whatever was left of us, irreparably.

The person behind me moves again, bringing his nose to the side of my neck and my heart starts beating even faster, because I recognize that gesture and I know who it’s coming from. I feel agitated and yet relaxed, at the same time, because the pain and anguish with which I would have had to live the rest of my life with if I had cheated on Noah, is something that I’m not going to have to face after all.

I can feel my body coming more and more in contact with his. I sigh, I don’t know whether in relief or not and turn around to look his beautiful face. His eyes are still closed, his breath slow-paced and there’s a hint of beard on his jaw. His hair looks a little more rebellious than usual and his lips, plump and juicy, are enhanced by a sweet, natural pout.

How is he so, damn hot?

If he wasn’t, perhaps, things would be a whole lot easier. I haven't talked to Noah for months now. I’m having a meltdown just looking at him and feel like crying. I wish he could both stay and leave, at the same time. I feel vulnerable, sad and empty.

I wish I could run my fingers on his face, I miss his soft skin a lot. I wish I could kiss him, the way we did last night because yes, that part I remember well. It was as great as always, so intense, engaging and unexpected. A ten out of ten kiss. I smile, looking at him, but then anguish takes over the moment I seriously think about all that has happened between us.

I take advantage of the fact that he’s still asleep to observe him carefully, secretly almost. His perfect face, his perfect body, the way his jeans perfectly wrap around his long, muscular legs and his impeccably sculpted chest, swathed in a blue shirt that wonderfully enlightens his complexion, giving him the typical look of a guy who will always be out of your league.

I can’t believe how much I love you, Noah… I think to myself, but then I also think about the state in which he left me, the way he abandoned me, how he simply vanished from my life for God knows what reason.

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